How to be a Success by Caring Less

There are two reasons why you aren’t as successful right now as you could be. The reasons are:

1) You’re listening to the negative things people are saying about you

2) You’re too caught up in your own head

I personally want to see you be as successful as you possibly can.

If you’re any one of the people I’m currently chatting with on Twitter, you’re a pretty cool person and I highly respect you. If you’re a regular reader, I write because of you, which is a special bond we share.

I know you too have a fire of passion burning inside you that you want to grow and make even stronger.  So let’s break down the barriers of what’s holding you back.

Let’s start with a fundamental truth about being a human: We care about what other people think.  We want to be loved, trusted, cared about and respected.  It’s how most of us are hard wired. I say most because I took abnormal psychology, and just know better than say all of us. The universe exists on exceptions.

Now here’s the thing we often forget, what other people think about us does one of two things: inflate or deflate our ego.  The issue with ego is, whether a person is praising or scolding you, the effect has the same repercussion. It influences who you are and who you become.  You can only make efforts to minimize that impact for own well being.

If you go back to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the grassroots level of your existence is your ability to take care of and love yourself.  It’s really all about you my friend! Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs by Wiki

Mirror Mirror on the Restroom Wall

If you can’t look into a mirror and love the person you see, you’re doing something wrong. You’re thinking something very wrong. There’s no other person like you; brains, brawn and look-wise on this entire planet.  Think about it. No other person who has ever walked on the planet or will ever, is like you. I feel like celebrating you at the very thought.

Do you love yourself enough?

Maintain a Level Head

The term level head is somewhat ambiguous. So let’s keep it simple by defining it using this formula:

huffs formula Here’s what I’m getting to, it’s good to know you’re doing a good or even bad job, but it’s also good to maintain a strong sense of self worth.  What other people think is merely an outcome of taking action. It’s inevitable.  So, I’ve come up with a system to help manage my own “self”, ego and all types of outside opinions. I call it the three times rule.

The three times rule is a simple life choice that doesn’t allow me to revel in my own successes and failures. How?  Well quite simply, whenever I receive a compliment or criticism, I never re-read it more than three times.  By the time you’ve read something three times, you have a grasp of it. Especially considering during each read/listen period, you’ve probably looked it over a few times already. Using this method you will achieve the ability to:

  • Be proud of your successes, motivate yourself and move forward to achieve the next thing
  • Be proud of your failures, because they mean you tried, and know what not to do next time. That’s a whole lot better than not knowing!
  • Move on while maintaining self worth and a level head

Putting it into Geek Context

Pretend your Frodo on the Lord of the Rings journey. It’s exactly the same thing but that ring represents your true potential. You can have a great support system around you, yes your own fellowship, but your success and failure is ultimately up to you. Will you make it to Mount Doom or will you fall prey to the other powers that be, ego, fear of failure and bad advice?

If you’re up to the challenge of making your life better by caring less, start now. Like, right now. 
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