Post - Limp Bizkit  - break your f*&king plates and glasses tonight

Oppahahhh! Glass is fun to break when you mean to do it, but not so much every other single time.  I’m guessing you too have never encountered any ancient curse or magical good luck from the mistake, just the sheer annoyance of trying to find over 1,000 tiny shards of invisibility.

Drop a glass, plate or mirror? Relax. All you need is a flashlight and these tips:

First, pick up all the large shards you’re able to spot with your meagre human eyes.   If you’re scared to touch the glass, aka a wimp like me, sweep up the large shards with a broom.  Just don’t forget to wash the broom when you’re done. There’s no sense sweeping it up now to only spread it around later.

Next, it’s time to find the little shards. We both know they’re just pretending to be MIA, but they’re hiding… somewhere.  Dim your lights just enough so you can walk around without bumping into anything.

Flashlight time. Next, turn on a trusty flashlight and start using it like a strobe light in a prison courtyard. At this point, feel free to include any commentary as doing so. Example: Andy and Red, you’re not getting away on my watch!!” or “Your tattoos won’t save you from this Michael Scofield!”  Why are you using a flashlight like this you ask? As you scope the area out, you’ll notice that even the smallest of chard will glisten in the light.

I know it’s exciting to find it, after all it’s playing hide and seek on you, but for goodness sake don’t just make a grab for it. It’s not going any where. Instead pick up the shards using one of these makeshift methods:

 

1)Wet paper towel or Clorox wipe
A damp cloth, wet paper towels or Clorox Wipes will help you pick up the little splitters and pieces, as well as tidy up the area. Win-win.

2) Wet paper
Wet a few sheets of paper (preferably in newspaper form) and dab it over the splinters. This will collect the specs of glass quite nicely, while allowing you to fold and redab multiple areas. This tip is via WikiHow.

3) Piece of bread
Use a plain (non-toasted) piece of bread to help pick up all the small pieces that shattered. Bread acts like a proverbial sponge; perfect parts wet and solid.  This gem comes from an older LifeHacker post btw.

4) Vacuum it like a boss
This is self explanatory but not often the best option. Unless you have a NASA/heavy duty vacuum, chances are you may blow more pieces around than pick them up. This method is best used if you have a 70’s shag rug or something similar in density.

 

Glass doesn’t stand a chance against this DIY arsenal. And hopefully it saves you some time from cursing your sheer dumbassary of dropping whatever you did.  Like me and my only wine glass, filled to the brim with fizzy water.  *face palm*

Btw, for my fellow craftspeople, artists and builders, the flashlight technique also works great for finding Nanodots magnetic constructors. Those suckers seem to find a way across the room and into random crevices.  My precious!

 

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